Well then. Here we are.

So I obviously (OBVIOUSLY) failed at keeping up this blog for almost the last year. I will give you some good reasons:

• December got busy even though I wasn't rehearsing for or performing in anything.
• I got a stomach bug right after Christmas.
• I came down with a second bout of bronchitis in January, which was accompanied by a day of abdominal spasms so bad I cried in pain and then couldn't eat for a week because everything hurt too much. I'm not kidding--I could feel the connective tissue between my ribs, and it HURT. And it lasted a month.
• And then I was sewing and packing and crocheting for my two-week trip to Japan in March, and five days after I got back from Japan via Oakland, I rented a car and drove to Phoenix for a symposium. 
• And then I looked for work and went on many interviews, and finally got a part-time gig at Michael's.

I'm still looking for full-time work and trying my best to actually do stuff, but it's discouraging. I'm carrying around some extra weight (still, but I think it's finally coming off) and I have so many projects in the works that it's hard for me to actually sit down and finish ANYTHING.

Here is what I need to finish:

• So many hats. So many.
• Crocheting a billion little hearts for the kids at church.
• My niece's afghan.
• My sister's friend's jaunty tam to wear during chemo.
• So much mending and altering. So much.
• A crocheted kitty for one of the neighborhood children.
• A granny square pillow for my youngest nephew.
• Sewing for me in general (still discouraging because of the weight gain--my good winter coat doesn't fit, and I spent GOOD money on it, so I'm even more annoyed).
• Curtains for my sister-in-law.
• Slip cover for my new little storage bench--it's a pretty dark red, but that doesn't match my bedroom.

I look at the unfinished things around me and get really discouraged, so I end up not doing anything, and then I get frustrated that nothing is done, and then I look at the list, and get discouraged. It's a vicious cycle. Also, I'm not as good at knitting as I am at crocheting, and that gets me in a discouragement loop, too. I know I'd be better at knitting if I did more of it, but then I think about how hard to read the patterns can be for me, and I think about all the pretty yarn I have that I don't want to ruin (hi, I bought some gorgeous merino yarn in Japan and I'm terrified to make anything out of it), and I think about how awkward my fingers feel with the knitting still, and I shut down and don't do it. But I keep buying yarn because I have such a good employee discount and there is some pretty great yarn on clearance at work right now. And then I have too much yarn to store properly, and I don't know what to make out of it, and Henry the Giant Kitten may or may not have eaten a little yarn heart and...

You see? You see how annoying and frustrating this all is? BLAR.

That's where I am. I just need to jump start something. I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and get away from the computer and outside in this really lovely late-summer weather we've been having (between the heavy rainstorms, of course). I need to DO SOMETHING. Every day. Even if it's a little crocheted heart that Henry the Giant Kitten will try to eat. Maybe that will get these creative juices going again. I hope.